A Friday Tag

I promised Panaderos that I'd do his nice little tag. Here goes the tag questions and my answers:

• Have you ever gone on a blind date? Yes, with my cousin’s classmate in law school. He was nice but in trying too hard to impress me, he was quite rude to the waiter which turned me off.

• Skipped school? In high school, I skipped a few classes of an elective that bored me to death to play “dama” (Spanish checkers) with the boys at the bleachers.

• Been on a plane? Yes…I have a few weird and funny plane stories to tell.

• Been lost? Oh yes…story of my life! I absolutely have no sense of direction. I once drove for more than an hour thinking I was going to the direction of Ortigas or Edsa. It was past one in the morning and after making a few wrong turns, I asked a group of men drinking along the street but it was like talking to a bunch of 5-year olds. I finally stopped at a gas station and asked where I was. Turned out I was driving towards the opposite direction---I was almost in Espana! I also got lost in Paris because I couldn't read the map, and the French refused to speak English; and in Los Angeles going to Irvine.

• Swam in the ocean? Yes, yes, yes! I’m not a very good swimmer but I love to be in the water.

• Cried yourself to sleep? Oh yes! Countless times…I wake up with swollen eyes but with a lighter heart and happier disposition.

• Played cops and robbers? Not really…

• Played dolls? Yes…but not the usual injection-molded plastic dolls. I invented my own dolls when I was a kid…made from paper cutout and some plant I found in my grandmother’s garden. Don’t ask me to describe it…hahaha!

• Recently colored with crayons? No.

• Sang Karaoke? Of course! It’s a great stress-reliever and way to show off the diva in me (awwww)!

• Paid for a meal with coins only? Yes, a long time ago, when a complete meal in the school cafeteria was less than ten pesos, the jeepney fare was 50 centavos, and rice was 2 pesos a kilo.

• Done something you said you wouldn't? Unfortunately, yes. No regrets, though.

• Cheated on a test? Never…too scared to get caught.

• Made prank phone calls? Hmmnnn…Yes, a few times in high school. My friends and I used to make prank calls to a funeral home, and a radio station.

• Caught a snowflake on your tongue? No…I forgot to open my mouth!

• Danced in the rain? Oh yes! My cousins, my sister and I danced in the rain and splashed water from potholes to each other. We used the broomstick as a guitar and danced to Bruce Springsteen’s “Dancing in the Dark”.

• Written a letter to Santa Claus? No, I was never introduced to Santa Claus.

• Watched the sun rise with someone you care about? Yes...it made up for the lack of sleep (hehe).

• Been kissed under the mistletoe? No.

• Gone ice skating? No.

• Been skinny dipping outdoors? Yes (blushing). I spent a weekend with cousins and friends in a beach resort in Guimaras many summers ago. The beach was in a secluded cove, and we had the place to ourselves. We went skinny dipping under the full moon…the water was so calm and warm, it felt like oil to the skin. It was a wonderful experience. This was way before the Guimaras oil disaster.:-D

• Favorite drink I'm allowed on a regular basis - Coffee

• Tattoos? Yes…just a tiny one.

• Body piercing? ...on both ears.

• Vacation spot? Too many beautiful places, too little time---my favorite spot is in Palawan.

• Eaten cookies for dinner? Yes…cookies and ice cream were my favorite dinner in college…either I was too lazy to cook, or my allowance was dwindling.

• Ever been on TV? No…except on videos taken during weddings and parties.

• Ever been in a car accident? No, thank God!

• Favorite number and why? In numerology, I’m a life path 7...so it's my favorite number.

• Favorite movie? There are too many to mention---on top my head, I love Juno, The Thin Red Line, The Mirror Has Two Faces, The Prince of Tides, The Godfather Trilogy, The Deer Hunter, The Silence of the Lambs, Cape Fear, Forrest Gump, There Will Be Blood, Of Mice and Men, The Last Samurai, Tinimbang Ka Ngunit Kulang, Insiang, Maynila: Sa Kuko ng Liwanag, Amelie, and many more…

• Favorite holiday? The best holiday is time spent with my dog and people I care about…exchange ideas with them, reminisce, share laughter, or just lounge around enjoying time away from work.

• Favorite smells? I love the fresh and clean scents of lavender, vanilla, sandalwood and rosemary, and the sensual scent of jasmine; smells of freshly cut grass remind me of summer mornings and burning dried leaves evoke childhood memories in Miranda

• What do you do to relax? Put my feet up, listen to music, and read a good book, play with my dog or have a body massage.

• Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Possibly with more dogs, and enjoying a simple, uncomplicated yet exciting life.

I'm not tagging anyone, but if you'd like to play, just go ahead and enjoy!

What's funny, anyway?

Daranak Falls, Tanay, Rizal

I don’t know about you but I laugh at myself regularly. It makes life seem less of a struggle. I know a lot of people who take themselves and their lives too seriously that they refuse to admit the absurdity of some of the things they do and say. Not that everything in life is a laughing matter. But I’m sure you meet people who have a chip on their shoulders.

I have a friend who spends much of her time complaining how everyone in her office is talking behind her back. She’s incapable of shrugging off even the most inconsequential things. She’s crabby, touchy, angry and self-righteous. Ewwww! I hope it’s not you!

It takes courage to laugh at oneself. I feel less tension, less worry and I feel so much better when I laugh at myself. It gives me the ability to put things in their proper perspective.

I have a co-worker (I hope he’s not reading my blogs! hehehe) who is almost incapable of poking fun at himself. He has a certain image that I guess he had worked very hard to maintain, and the harder he tries, the sillier he seems to the rest of us in the office. Laughter is a gift. I guess God must think some parts of life are pretty funny, or He wouldn’t have given us a sense of humor.

One advantage of laughing at yourself is that you don’t hurt anyone in the process, and you may just brighten someone’s day through some self-depreciating humor. I know some people who are highly sensitive….they’re insecure, and laughing at them is cruel. So I’d joke about my own eccentricities. It’s like releasing a built-in safety valve…and steals power from my troubles.

Joan and Don talking about the brids and the bees :D

Desperation can make some of us too serious. We see every first date as a life-or-death situation. We tense up on meeting new people, terrified of making a bad impression. We try too hard because it feels like the fate of the world depends on whether this person likes us or not. But really...it's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not. I got that from an [old], wise friend.

"When people are laughing, they're generally not killing each other." ~Alan Alda

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. I used to be my own worst enemy, but living on my own for years has taught me to become my own bestfriend. I’m more comfortable with who I am. I like the person I’m becoming, and brave enough to admit my own quirks. One of life’s greatest accomplishments is to learn to like who you see in the mirror. When you’re self-assured enough to laugh at yourself, you’ve made real progress toward that goal.

To all women (and men who value women)

In All Ways A Woman

by Maya Angelou

In my young years I took pride in the fact that luck was called a lady. In fact, there were so few public acknowledgments of the female presence that I felt personally honored whenever nature and large ships were referred to as feminine. But as I matured, I began to resent being considered a sister to a changeling as fickle as luck, as aloof as an ocean, and as frivolous as nature. The phrase "A woman always has the right to change her mind" played so aptly into the negative image of the female that I made myself a victim to an unwavering decision. Even if I made an inane and stupid choice, I stuck by it rather than "be like a woman and change my mind."

Being a woman is hard work. Not without joy and even ecstasy, but still relentless, unending work. Becoming an old female may require only being born with certain genitalia, inheriting long-living genes and the fortune not to be run over by an out-of-control truck, but to become and remain a woman command the existence and employment of genius.

The woman who survives intact and happy must be at once tender and tough. She must have convinced herself, or be in the unending process of convincing herself, that she, her values, and her choices are important. In a time a nd world where males hold sway and control, the pressure upon women to yield their rights-of-way is tremendous. And it is under those very circumstances that the woman's toughness must be in evidence.

She must resist considering herself a lesser version of her male counterpart. She is not a sculptress, poetess, authoress, Jewess, Negress, or even (now rare) in university parlance a rectoress. If she is the thing, then for her own sense of self and for the education of the ill-informed she must insist with rectitude in being the thing and in being called the thing.

A rose by any other name may smell as sweet, but a woman called by a devaluing name will only be weakened by the misnomer. She will need to prize her tenderness and be able to display it at appropriate times in order to prevent toughness from gaining total authority and to avoid becoming a mirror image of those men who value power above life, and control over love.

It is imperative that a woman keep her sense of humor intact and at the ready. She must see, even if only in secret, that she is the funniest, looniest woman in her world, which she should also see as being the most absurd world of all times. It has been said that laughter is therapeutic and amiability lengthens the life span. Women should be tough, tender, laugh as much as possible, and live long lives. The struggle for equality continues unabated, and the woman warrior who is armed with wit and courage will be among the first to celebrate victory.

Pregnant with possibilities

I like the phrase and the sound of it. Pregnant with possibilities is what I’d like to be in the Year of the Rat. In my mind, there’s a picture of a psychedelic butete burping letters from its mouth --- P O S S I B I L I T I E S. Each letter bubbles on the surface of the water and turns into gorgeous men parading on the beach. I am the only person on the beach---judge and jury of this parade. It's Raining Men is playing in my iPod. :D

Kidding aside, I approach the New Year armed with lessons learned this past year and inspired by possibilities. There have been a great many things that happened to me in 2007, but I had blunders as well as things that I tried but fell short. In 2008 onwards, I’d like to focus on life's possibilities and develop a kind of optimistic hunger to try something new.

This year, I would like to be fearless in many areas of my life, make mistakes, take chances again…been a cautious observer for so long. At the back of my mind, there’s the fear of failure, disappointment, pain---but if I’ve learned something all these years, it’s ‘what won’t kill you makes you stronger.’

Life in a rat race is getting dull and exasperating, not to mention brain-numbing. I’d like to take it slow this time, take nothing for granted---‘suck the marrow from the bones of life’.

“To be a better person” has been my personal slogan for so long. I’d like to stop getting better, and start appreciating what I am. I’d like to give in to a little temptation once in a while, stop trying to make everything rational. I’d like to doubt again in order to test my convictions.

Yes, I’d like to live deliberately from now on…it’s about time!

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. ~Lily Tomlin

My net worth

“You need to find a husband,” Jason, my hair-stylist, announced while massaging my scalp. I pretended not to hear and continued to read a magazine. He ignored my silence as he blabbered about a single male customer of his who was “just right” for me. There was a time when such comments about my single state would rub me the wrong way.

To Jason and the others who meddled in my personal life, a woman my age should be in the happily-ever-after set---not still waiting for Mr. Right. If a woman my age hadn’t walked down the aisle and tied the knot, folks thought something was wrong with her. An elder relative even asked me once if I was a lesbian!

For many years, I agreed with them. The word single sounded like a disease to be avoided at all costs. If being single was so great, then why did most of my friends constantly date in an effort to head toward the altar? And why did the single women I knew seem like miserable misfits? There was my 3rd grade teacher who played the piano until the wee hours of the morning. My grandfather's cousin, Lola Deling, braided flowers in hair and was mad as a March hare.

I concluded marriage and motherhood equaled “success” for a woman; singleness branded her a failure. Thankfully, as I got older, I got wiser. My notion that a woman’s worth is based solely on her marital status was challenged. Over the years my eyes were opened to the many ways I am considered a success---even as a single woman. I had the best lessons as a single woman through a few forgettable dates. I refused to compromise my standards---it was mostly met with anger and disappointment but I held on.

Instead of needing a husband and kids to find my worth as a woman, I’ve come to realize success is measured only in knowing what you value and you stick with it. With God shaping my perspective, there’s no such thing as failure.

The fact is, sometimes it's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes. That's why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun.
~~~~~

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.
~ Carrie Bradshaw