Crabby cabby

I couldn’t wait to write this blog! Giggling while typing, a co-worker poked her head into my door wondering why the giggles. With a silly grin, I told my co-worker what happened to me this morning.

My plate number ends in 9 so I took a cab to work this morning like any other Friday. Running late, I hailed a taxi even when it’s a bit dilapidated. After I sat on the back seat, I noticed that the window at the passenger seat was rolled down. We were cruising along JP Rizal when I politely asked the cabby to roll the window up to keep the fumes from coming in, it was also getting warmer. I was surprised at the driver’s contemptuous tone when he said that he got a male passenger earlier who had body odor, reason why the window was rolled down. Then he added, “Parang pareho kayo ng amoy, miss…parang sa kilikili.”

I was jolted out of my Pasig River reverie! What-the---I have body odor???? He couldn’t possibly take the perfume (it’s Allure by Chanel, thank you) I’m wearing as body odor! And I’m fresh from my morning shower! I bit my tongue from saying something equally nasty, and comforted myself with the thought that there’s something wrong with the cabby’s nose.

I remember reading an article about smell blindness that could make the rotten cabbage smell like a 5-star restaurant. Some people have a heightened sense of smell and can be overwhelmed by aromas, while some suffer from insensitivity to odor.

So I calmly asked the cabby if he’s sure that I smell like his male passenger, or maybe I sprayed on too much perfume. He answered in a sarcastic tone, “Oo nga, amoy kilikili ang pabango nyo.” At that moment, I was ready to give him a piece of my mind but I realized that it would be self-defeating. Instead, I decided to give him a dose of his own medicine.

To give you a mental picture of my cabby---his used-to-be-white shirt is now beige, dirty nails, unkempt appearance. He looked like he had a bad hangover. The cab was not even well-maintained, the seat-cover needed a wash, and it smelled like dirty socks in need of ventilation. Honestly, the cab needs fumigation with the driver inside!

In my most charming voice, I told the cabby that he probably smelled his own body odor because his nose is nearer to his armpits than to mine. I added that I just took a shower, while it looks like there's a water shortage in the place where he lives, where soap is still unknown. That really infuriated him and he adjusted his rearview mirror so he could take a good look at me. Eyes bulging, he vehemently said that he never had a bad odor in his life! Innocently, I said that maybe he smells bad all his life that he never even noticed. He gave me a malevolent look through the rearview mirror---if looks could kill, I was dead right that moment! I was quietly enjoying his reaction, at the same time wishing I have a black belt in karate so I could kick his face before getting out of his cab. He kept on yakking about smelly people riding his cab, giving him headaches. We were almost at my office building and he was getting angrier. In a neutral voice, I said, "Manong, mas mukha kayong mabaho, tapos sasabihan nyo ang pasahero nyo na amoy kilikili. At pagkatapos kong sabihin sa inyo na kayo ang mabaho, magagalit kayo?"

He was quite furious, I thought he'd have a heart attack, or worse, he'd drive his cab straight to a post to kill me! When he was doing a right turn to the building's entrance, I advised him to use a brand of deodorant. And if he can't afford it, tawas is very cheap (sorry, I couldn't resist a parting shot)! The veins on his forehead were ready to explode! In the end, I got out of the cab in one piece, and still smelling fresh, sashayed into the lobby with a big grin on my face.

My co-worker pointed out that the cabby maybe a psycho, and I should be careful next time. I realize that now, but the encounter really made my day!:D